327 - Healing Your Money Mindset with Financial Therapist Rachel Duncan

On today's episode of the podcast I'm joined by financial therapist Rachel Duncan who 

Rachel is a financial and art therapist who has combined her background in mental health with her background in personal finance to help impulse spenders learn to trust themselves. Her clients typically have a lot of emotions around money or have trouble sticking to a budget. Rachel is not a financial advisor, but says that after working with her, you could go to one and not cry. 

As a special treat for my Besties, Rachel is offering 10% off her signature program, The Healing Circle:  An intimate 12-week therapist-led group container for those ready to kick impulse spending for good and learn to trust themselves with money. This program takes you through the nuts & bolts of money and the deeper emotional blocks that are holding you back from facing your money. Learn more at  www.moneyhealingclub.com/healing-circle Use coupon code: NOTAVGLAW at checkout for 10% off 

I discovered Rachel when she became a prospective content who inquired about trademark services. Looking through her website I knew she'd be a great fit for the podcast. While I give people the technical skills to get their business finances together, if they are looking for help with the money mindset around that I want to point them in the direction of specific resources. 

I know that people need this because it would be hard for me to tally up how many people have cried on meetings with me, money is an emotional topic. Rachel and I work through an exercise that she does with her students to identify our, what Rachel calls "money scripts" which are things that we've learned about money that are intense either general senses about money or things that were taught to us by specific people. 

Make a quadrant on a piece of paper with each one labeled "Income," "Expenses," "Debt" and "Savings." Write down a phrase that immediately comes to mind for each of these words. What are your beliefs or what are the quiet voices saying in your head about each one? 

For me, my income quadrant was around hearing about our money tree as a kid. Needs were met and I recognized as a kid we were what I call "country middle class" because we could afford to go visit family in Florida every summer, but if I asked for certain wants like a trampoline I'd be told to "go pick the money off the money tree in the backyard."

For expenses, I wrote "do you actually need that?" and also wrote, "treat yo'self" from Parks and Rec. I'm a big treat yourself person, I'm a spender. And I saw some of that growing up, so it's not coming from a place of rebellion because spending wasn't allowed. I feel like my parents preached the importance of savings, but I wasn't necessarily witnessing it. No one seemed particularly frugal, other than my grandpa who was also preachy about it. 

For debt, I wrote "cash only." This comes more from my dad who was the son of a farmer, and the only one of the nine children who didn't go into farming. A lot of the farming was crops that were paid for in a lump sum and they could turn around and buy something with that and then save the rest. My dad's not a farmer, but to this day he doesn't have a credit card. 

For savings, I wrote "save 10%" and I don't know why my mind went to church tithing. We were always told to save a little bit of the money we got like at Christmas time. 

From reading books over time I've learned that the reason I've never really been able to save is because it comes from a scarcity mentality. Like when you see money in your bank account and you want to spend it before it's gone. I have trouble letting money accumulate in a certain area. 

As you do these exercises, identify where these phrases came from in your life and how the people in your life came to believe that, was it war, the Great Depression, etc. Take a few of these, especially if one goes against what you'd like to be doing, and really break them down. 

For me, I've rephrased my money mantra and I say my business is my money tree and it will be fruitful when I develop it. It brings more abundance but also makes me think I'll just save later because I'll just keep making money. 

All these quadrants reflect on one another. And savings is quiet, it's not something we see people do so it can feel mysterious whereas spending money is the most visual and tangible. Same with debt, it's less sexy and therefore not talked about the same way. 

If you could rewrite some of these phrases, what would you say that feels good for you? Rachel  suggests ending this exercise by making a new grid, not only with the new phrases, using different words to reframe our mindset as well. Instead of debt, which is a scary word for many people, maybe call it "borrowing money." Debt can be neutral if you borrow money (use a credit card) and then pay it back. Instead of income, look at it as "making money." Savings, look at it as "keeping money" or "future spending." What other words can you use?

Get in Touch with Our Guest

Rachel Duncan, owner of Money Healing Club LLC

Get on her email list for money love notes and check out her website: moneyhealingclub.com
Follow Rachel on Instagram: @moneyhealingclub